今夜大家不醉就不歸，明早太陽是我的棉被

I miss u so much. I wanna stay up to talk to u. I wanna go to aus to find u. I wanna go to church and temple with u. I dont like that I secretly do everything in front of mum. When I send her to hospital, the doctor, nurse, my brother, shushu, aunt and me tell her so many lies to make her calm down. Poor mum, she lives in lies, and it's good for her. Why? I am sad because Satan wanna use her to beat me down. And she believes the words he said. I dont wanna tell a lie anymore. I hate the feeling.
This afternoon I just think about us. If we wanna live in Taiwan, I should find a government work. If we live in Aus, I should study first and work at Sydney. What u think? Everyday I ask Heavenly Father how can I do to be with u forever. I miss u so much. I wanna hug u tonight. I know u are a bit angry and sad. But I still want u to understand. I love u

I forgot I should prepare my suit last night, Cuz my aunt slept in my room. I sleep with my brother. I though aunt is sleeping so I am ready to go out. When I open the door, she just come in. She is funny. She doesn't familiar with Pingdong but she can go to market by herself. And then I buy her breakfast. I tell her I should go to church. She said OK. It's make me feel happy. Because she just like my mum. She is nice to me and always talk to me. I'm happy to see members and church. It's makes me peaceful when I am there. I go home early to help aunt cook lunch. It remind me that  we cook together. After lunch, I check the Skype bri and me talked. I just decide to leave her message.   I miss her so much. I wish I could be by her side all the time. Let her know how much I love her. My aunt saw I am typing so she said I am taking to u? I say I just leave u messages. She said it's good, but the characters like ants she doesn't understand. She is cute. I talk about bri to her last night. She said it's good I find someone to love. Then I take her and shushu to meet mum. Aunt talk to mum so much. Mum is negative as usual first. But she becomes normal later. We stay there for couple hours. And then aunt mentioned that I went to church this morning. The time freezes.  My mum go crazy again. She keep blaming me again. So I just stay outside. I can hear they have quarrel. It's bad in the end. Aunt blames herself she feel sorry she mentioned the church. I ask her don't blame herself. It's not her fault. I'm driving or I could give her a hug that moment. I think about it when bri blame herself, I can't give her a hug. I feel my heart pain. I can't do anything for her. After dinner, I went to chou family to find elders to eat bread and water. And we play monopoly. I talk to Szjei about mum. And she ask me about bri. I tell her bri's sister's wedding and travel Greece with mum. I dunno why I miss bri so much today. Maybe I just know I can't hear  her voice for 2days.

Honestly speaking, I am jealous that people can date with u. But I won't say u can't go on a date. Maybe he just wanna have fun with u. Maybe he is a better man than me. I don't wanna control or influence what u decide. Probably compared with other guys, u will find I am a normal guy. Anyway u can go on a date. I just more worry about ur health and safety. I think of the twilight of story. Bella gonna find Jacob, and Edward grabs Bella's hand try to stop her. But Bella say 'Don't' straightaway.  Edward lets her go away. I am very impressed by this scene, because I know why Edward do that. But I like Jacob more, he is handsome and has perfect body. When he transformed into a wolf, he is so cute like a big dog.

This noon I went to hospital to find the doctor. She is busy, but the nurse knows me, she remeber my mum's name. So she left my phone number with doctor. The doctor rang me when I was at convenient store. I just got the internet. I talked to her about my thought and she said she would add meeting with mum, maybe twice a week. I think it's good way to help her. But I said if she goes crazy again, I will send her to hospital. She said ok and she will try to talk about this to mum. When I talking to the doctor, I meet elders Ann and Lin. Pingdong is so small! Every where I go, I always can meet them. It's funny. I hang up and I should apply for the internet again. It's for free. But it only give me 30 mins. I can apply for it 3 times a day. It's a bit annoyed. I miss u so much. I thought I can hear ur voice right away. Who knows....

I went to my friend's house and he gave me a wedding invitation card. I see many wedding photos. It really isn't like themselves on photo. I think we dont have to alter the wedding photo too much. Because u are beautiful enough.

Why u think it's boring? I very like what u thought and every photo of u. I miss u so much. If I have time, I always read ur blog, watch photo, and think about what I can do to get closer to u. It's interesting. I love it. U know that whatever u do always attracts me.

Yesterday I went to SzJie's house to chat about my mum's problem, cuz I know she has experience of this. Her sister was at home, too. They work and live together now. It's good. Their family is a good example for me. And then I eat dinner with elders. We eat Subway. I really like their cookie. Maybe we can make cookie someday. I really have fun to do it with u. I miss that day we were at kitchen. I remember u said ur father is ur best friend. I secretly remember what u like before. because I am worried if u know I love u, u would feel awkward. oh, SzJie just knew I like u yesterday. I thought she has known it. She looks surprised. And I say it again yes, I really do love u.

Bri, I want u to think twice about ur job cuz I dont want u to jump into working too soon. If it is what u want, sure I am happy and support what u decide.

Today I am a bit sad cuz we didnt have a nice talk in the end. But it's ok, I still love u very much. I know u want it to work out quickly. If I take mum to hospital everyday, it will be expensive and she must hurt that I do. It must get worst and there is no hope she will get better. It's possible. I hope u understand. She is better after I am home. She didnt yell me anymore. She just complain a liitle thing about why I can't pick up phone when I am working. It's normal again. Today I just think about u. I thank Heavenly Father I can meet u. Let me know there is someone perfect for me. But she is too wonderful, I should overcome so many challenges to get her. Is it worth? SURE. I Love u.

Yesterday my boss she asked me did I have trained for my voice? I said No, I didn't. Why? She said my voice is like cartoon lol.

Sorry, Bri, It must be sad, hurt what I recorded and u will worry about me & mum. But I still want u to know. Here we go.

Maybe we have to find another way to connect, because my mum is too sensitive recently. We can write email. It's hard to me, because I wanna hear ur voice everyday. I think about that I can lie to u, and u can find a better one. It will be easier to u. But I can't. If u were not here, I would feel alone. I can't tell mum what I feeling, cuz she doesnt understand quickly.  07/06

I have no doubt that you are the one, never. But I doubt myself sometimes. I am afraid that I can't take care you or can't make u happy. So I always asking Heavenly Father for giving me more wisdom to work it out. Yes, I'm sad when u said u aren't the one. I know you don't wanna say that, cuz u also hurt. Sorry, I forgot it and I just told that in the beginning. I don't mean it. Sorry. We all rush to a conclusion and we lost our patience. I love u too much.  I forgot that I should do and "wait". I said that I will wait for u and I promise. It's time to me for proving it. And it's just beginning.

This morning I got a letter from sister Dong. I'm happy that she and elder Yeh are good. She mentioned that movies(The Departed and The Prestige) we talked haha. Yesterday my internet was weird, so I repaired it. I miss u so much. I know u'r busy with sister's wedding. I pray for u that u have more energy to enjoy the wedding. I just image when u ware wedding dress, u must be the most beautiful girl in the world. I look forward to our wedding. No matter how our children looks, they must be gorgeous lol.

When I am sad, I wanna hear your voice. When I am happy I wanna share with you first. All I want is you are happy. Everyday I pray for You, pray for mum, brother, shushu and your family. I keep asking Heavenly Father what I should do that I can be with you forever. I believe there have many ways to work out. I am not just smart enough right now. I watch your pictures, read letters you wrote. If there is no way to see you, it must be killing me.